Learn more about GLOBAL LOVE DAY here:
We can apply this idea to so many situations. If we are single and have been heartbroken, we can release the other person toward whatever path they are meant to go.
If we are in a relationship, we can stop being the boss of our partner! What this can look like is this:
We get a strong urge to fix or control our partner because they are “messing up.” One time, a friend of mine told me it was excruciating to watch her husband chopping peppers because of the way that he cut them. She had a good chuckle at herself, because it really didn’t matter; yet her ego was screaming to correct him.
Often we interfere when we ought to be minding our own business!
When I was accepted as one of twelve incoming students to my graduate program, I was very excited but needed some money to make it happen. I pursued one of only two fellowships and was awarded it. This award made it possible for me to pull up stakes in California and move to Chicago for school. As I later saw, I was neither the most ambitious nor the most talented student in my cohort.
Had I not received the fellowship, I likely would never have moved to Chicago and gone to that particular graduate school. It was in Chicago that I found meditation, which changed my life from one run by fear and selfishness to a life of serving others and pursuing truth. I started my search for happiness in love there and it was also in Chicago where I met my husband!
So while there were others in my cohort that seemed more deserving, the bigger picture was, I was meant to be in Chicago. It was there that my life changed in order for me to help people like you change their lives! Isn’t that amazing?!
Remembering this story, I can have compassion for people who are performing less than I think that they “should” because I rest in the knowledge that there is a bigger order at play and I do not know it. This does not mean that I have to get entangled with them or the games or drama that might be involved with them. It means I can have compassion for them from a distance!
Look for opportunities to allow others the dignity of their own experience. Where is your need for control thwarting the higher order? Where can you allow for something that you would do differently but may very well be in divine order?
One woman asked me, with a hint of desperation, “What are the top five tips that you give to couples?”
“Date Night is a MUST.”
“What, like once a month?”
Her face was one of shock. Yes, I know it is really hard find new balance after having a baby, especially the first child. Everything changes, however, it is truly important to create and maintain the habit of taking time out for just the two of you.
You can broaden your image of date night and start with where you are. In the beginning, it might look like a short living room floor picnic when baby is sleeping. It could be a walk while a neighbor or relative watches baby. For others, the opportunities are endless.
Taking the time to connect on your primary relationship has a HUGE return on investment. While it might seem inconvenient, it is like taking vitamins for your relationship. Avoiding closeness-time and coziness leads to having to take relationship aspirin. Wouldn’t you rather prevent the pain rather than treat it later?
Couples, movies are a distraction. Spend the time during date night to really connect and make an effort to hear each other very deeply
If you are single, create the space by having a determined time/day of the week when you go and have some FUN and connect with whatever it is that fills your tanks.
When you do things that are loving toward yourself, you are creating a habit of receiving love. Like attracts like. If love is flowing toward you (from you or your friends), then it will flow easier from a potential mate. And that mate will also be more loving toward himself or herself. LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. Create the atmosphere of love and watch yourself become a love magnet!
I am conducting a class for loving and committed couples and want to be certain that I address your needs. Please send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
Sometimes we don't even realize what we want in a mate. Like we discussed in last week's article, we can start with what we don't want and look for attributes that are the opposite. To counter someone with a wandering eye, you may discover that you want LOYALTY or FOCUS. You may find that your DON'T WANT list is large and that you can't figure out what the opposites are. That is a good time to go to someone that you trust and ask them for their help in distinguishing the positive traits that can come from your list. I do this work at length and in depth with Singles. If you want more info, call or write me.
When I was single, I was very unclear what I wanted in a mate. I learned that someone being interested in me was not a high enough criterea for dating! In my uncertainty, I started with what I did not want in a mate and then I was able to look for the opposite. That was how the fog started to lift on who I wanted to be in my life! Simple but at the time, it was not at all obvious.