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What is your big “why”?
Why is it that you are with your beloved? What is it that makes you
two a must?
For Vj and I, we fell in love and that was the first big “why”. Then
when things blew apart into a million tiny pieces and we were putting
them back together, we realized that we needed something even bigger
than our relationship as glue in those times when it just wasn’t
convenient to be together.
Don’t get me wrong, we are crazy about each other. And we are human,
which means that our tiny minds and egos used to trick us into thinking that we
got the short end of the stick in the relationship. Often.
It was not pretty. And the good news is that we found something that
has made those super frustrating times really rare.
It is kind of the last thing that I expected. In fact, when Vj
suggested it, I thought, “Why would be want to do that?” but I
trusted him and knew that in order to keep us happy and together, we
needed to expand beyond our old default behaviors.
We sat down and wrote our relationship mission. Kind of dull, maybe,
but now that we have it, it is a star to which we set the sails of
our relation-ship 😉
There is a simple formula that we created.
How we operate inside the relationship which includes what type of
environment we create for each other.
How we impact the community
How we serve greater humanity=
Greatest love possible!
Can you see how this can bring you out of pettiness and
misunderstanding? When we focus on our impact, to one another, to
the community and to the universe, it shows how tiny and
insignificant our complaints actually are.
Ok, ready to hear our relationship mission? Here it is:
To create a loving, supportive and healing environment where we have
fun and grow individually and together as a couple.
To be a divine example of a loving relationship through daily
demonstration of our commitment to unity and harmony.
To be mindful of the divine presence and help uplift fellow beings.
As you can see, it is important for us to be a great example of love
and unity. We spent years in disharmony before we discovered and
created the tools that completely transformed our communication and
our world. We will be sharing them to a select few couples at our
upcoming Lasting Love Retreat in March. It is for the kind of
lovebirds that simply won’t settle for “good enough” in their
relationship. If you want to feel even more connected and harmonious
with your beloved, join us. Learn more => here
A few days before the US presidential elections, I had a dream featuring Donald Trump.
He was driving me around in a modest car (like a Camry) and talking to me. He was subdued and grounded. I noticed he spoke from a place that I call surrender, which is calm in tone and appearance but also palpably serene.
He very casually explained to me that his role was to serve the universe, that he was there to rally people together and while the mechanism he employed appeared to be divisive, the long game goal was exactly the opposite. His manner lacked any grandiosity—in fact, he took no credit.
For him, it was simply his job in this lifetime to do be inflammatory and provocative and he had a general acceptance of his job.
He was very matter-of-fact that this catalytic role was far more important than his need to be seen as a decent man.
Yesterday, seeing the millions of people brought together around the world to voice unity, inclusion, and love I really understood what he’d told me in the dream.
What if Donald Trump has sacrificed his integrity, honor and grace (or the appearance of them) in order to satisfy his destiny and to uplift humanity? That his rhetoric is necessary to 1. illuminate that many of our brothers and sisters are suffering and 2. to inspire us to join together and create a more unified and uplifted world?
While his actions and character may seem deplorable, his ultimate sacrifice sparked a movement desirous of inclusion, harmony and ultimately love.
And the fact that it is likely unconscious, means that he has done all this from a place akin to innocence.
I know it seems far fetched. But today, I woke at 4am genuinely grateful to Donald Trump for being the spark that motivated the largest positive global action (I believe) in history.
One of the main mischief makers in life is acting out of integrity.
This causes a big rift between what we value in our hearts and what
is happening in the outside world.
The crazy thing is, that usually when this happens, our minds then
start to search for evidence that we are in the right.
Stay with me here.
I once had a client who I really cared about. She also happened to be
the first client to pay more than I have ever received for coaching.
On top of that she was, what I perceived as, wildly successful. This
intimidated me! And how that played out was that I disappointed her.
I made mistakes because I was so focused on pleasing her, that I got
in the way of actually delivering to her.
Energetically, my fears sabotaged her results. It felt awful. To
relieve myself of the discomfort I did a very human thing; I
I started gathering evidence that she was in the wrong, she wasn’t
coachable, we weren’t a good fit, etc.
What really happened was that I didn’t want to face my own feelings
of inadequacy and ultimately, she ended the business relationship.
Now, I did the best that I could at the time. I had just stretched
big time in my business and was feeling the pinch of that. When she
ended the relationship, I did my best to be accountable and real.
I did so imperfectly, but while I felt badly, I also forgave myself.
That was the big clean up that was mandatory for me to move on.
Eventually, I was able to do so with grace and ease.
I have learned that even when things feel terrible, it doesn’t mean
that we are terrible. We can move through the discomfort of being
imperfect and innocently making mischief until we find the grace of
More and more, I see that the answer to everything is to love oneself.
If I reside in self-love no harm can come to me. All are “allowed”
to be their perfectly imperfect selves because I am at peace with my
What makes this possible is forgiving myself. Then I can feel peace.
When I am at peace, I can stand for what I believe in with neutral
compassion and that creates peace in my world.
What can you do today to create peace in your world?
If you were to step back this moment and look at yourself, would you
see things for which you could forgive yourself? Are you willing to
give it a shot?
Now, more than ever, we need to get along.
As a friend of mine said, “Dress rehearsal is OVER.” All the work
that we do requires practical application.
Let’s band together, as fellow beings, to bring more light, love and
harmony into this world.
I don’t know if it is how the stars are aligned (some of my
astrologically inclined friends say it is).
Perhaps it is karma—that we are here to transmute all that came
before us. That we are here, in this perfect timing, to uplift past
transgressions and uphold previous light work of our ancestors and
Whatever it is, we are asked to stretch and grow together. In this
spirit, I will be sharing with you short, actionable boosts that
create more harmony with those around us. Whether it is with your
beloved or your perceived enemy, you can—and probably must—be able to
have peace in your heart and environment.
In recent weeks, I have been called to action. I have plans over the
next four years and beyond to share what I have learned. It is my
deep desire that you find support in these “heart tonics” and if you do, you
share it with those in your world.
Stay tuned for more support and a new podcast “Love is the Answer”
coming in January.
Many of us chase happiness, hoping to eventually catch it, without really knowing how to go about it. In fact, we are trained from a young age that we can buy it, only to later be disappointed.
I have come to realize that the key to happiness lies in giving freely with an open heart, and true heart-centered giving is based upon love, abundance, and connection.
However, we can only give to others unconditionally when our own tanks are filled to the point of overflowing. This means we must be able to make ourselves happy and allow others to contribute to our happiness.
This is not to say that you should hole yourself up until you have amassed your fortune. It simply means that we should make every effort to be generous to ourselves.
For example, to me, ‘filling my tank’ means that I get enough sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, enjoy ‘me’ time, spend quality time with my husband, VJ and our dog, as well as being productive in my work. Essentially, I focus on giving myself all the things that I need in order to operate well and then I can reach out and offer help to others.
I give because I want to, not because I want others to like me or get something in return.
Generosity, or giving therefore, should not just be focused outwards. You need to be generous to yourself first, so that you can go out there protected, yet vulnerable, and help from a true giving spirit.
The irony is that when we give freely we get so much in return.
Fill Your Own Tank Of Happiness
Reflect on how much you are doing for yourself. Are you devoting enough time to your physical and mental well being? Do you give yourself enough me time? Are you able to invest enough time and energy into nurturing your relationships? The idea is to identify the areas in your life where you need to be more generous with yourself. We all can use help in this department!
Sarah Anand Anma is a transformational leader of the coaching industry. She has helped to radically transform and elevate the consciousness and income of coaches, healers and business owners from all over the world. By helping coaches, speakers, trainers, and authors overcome their fears of going big, she gets them into a state of grace, ease, flow, and joyful expression. As a result she has a track record of taking companies from 6 figures into multi millions. Her specialties include helping inspirational leaders create, fill, and nurture high level masterminds.